Mother's Day Reflections

Today is the day after Mother's Day, and I had a lovely one. Unfortunately Wayne had to work this year, but when I opened my car door to head to church he had left me roses and a card on my seat. It was very precious to be thought of, especially knowing that usually he is running like a chicken with his head cut off in the morning. Millie made me two cards, one a Mother's Day card and one a thank you card. We went to church and out to eat with my parents. My mom and dad got me a beautiful "mom" necklace. Millie and I then headed to Walmart to pick up a few odds and ends. Crowded! When we got home Millie gave me a wonderful gift, we both took a 2 hour nap. When we woke up I picked up the house and made supper. Wayne came home and we watched one of our favorite shows (Amazing Race). While we were getting Mil ready for bed she asked me to sleep with her because it was Mother's Day, how do you say no to that... you don't. Wonderful Day!
As I was laying in bed last night I began to think of all the "mother" influences I have in my life. I am very blessed. I not only have a spectacular mom, who worries about buying me gifts and making me a corsage on mother's day, but I had a wonderful grandmother. Nana was a huge part of my childhood and into my young adult life. I often shed tears because something happens and one of my reactions is to call her. She has been gone 4 yrs last month and I still remember what her voice sounds like, usually when I try to remember, the words I can hear most clearly are "baby Nana loves you". I think that says it all.
I also have been given women who while not blood related have been mothers to me. The top of the list is my wonderful mother in law. I know usually they don't make the top of the list, but most mother in laws are not Debbie. She has always been nonjudgmental, noncritical. She has been there always. She watches my child and considers it a favor to her, she makes the most beautiful gifts with her own two hands and gives them freely to us( I know these items take hours). I most love about her that she is a great example for Millie of what it is to be strong, smart and a hard worker. She is more comfortable in the dirt playing with Mil than at a fancy party. She reminds me of all the parts I loved best about my Nana. I am grateful Millie has that. I am grateful I have that.
But most of all I have to thank God for my own mother. Raising me was probably not the easiest thing in the world. If you know me you know there was never a more true statement. But my Mom was there. She stayed home with me and my brother until we went to school and then she started working at the school. She never missed big events and she never belittled my feelings. She knew when something was important and she lobbied for me. She always believed me and she took action when I needed her. I remember so many times when my Mom went to bat for me, even when I was too young to understand why. Everyone knows my mom is the most kindhearted person, but when it comes to her kids she is a momma grizzly. I love that about her and I appreciate that more now that I have a little girl. She never made fun, she would listen for hours as I gave her every little detail about school. She seemed grateful to hear. She devoted her whole life to me and my brother. I don't think I ever really comprehended how much of a choice being a good parent is. I just assumed everyone had a mom that cooked and cleaned after them, took them shopping, and catered to their every whim. When I became a mother I realized how much of a calculated choice it is to be a loving mother. You don't wake up everyday and get excited about cooking, cleaning, planning and going to Story Hour. But because you love your child you do it, no matter what a pain. But some parents don't make that choice, they choose themselves over their child. I am grateful my mother chose us. Now a days we have grown to that more comfortable best friend place, the place where we joke and laugh and sometimes I get too much information :) But I hope that one day Millie looks back and feels about me the way I feel about my mom. I hope that one day I look back and see that I succeeded in being half the mom she is.