Hanging On By My Fingernails

We are always busy. We run here and there constantly. Everything is important and cannot be put off. Then Millie gets sick, luckily just a bad virus, and the world has to stop. Cancel dentist and doctors appts. Cancel birthday parties and benefits. Things get simplified. The real important stuff makes itself known and the rest kind of just falls away. I hate the feeling of helplessness when she is sick, but I love that she sits still to be cuddled. I hate that she feels so bad she has to be still, but I love that she has long random conversations with me about things we forget to talk about. I hate that her little voice is weak, but I love that she has to be still enough to listen, really listen. Those are the times when she really hears me say, "I love you". Those are the times when she really feels how much I adore her. My little girl is the whole world to me. She is the reason I stumble out of the bed and the reason I crawl in it. I am clinging to her baby features with my fingernails but recently I am all to aware she doesn't have many left. This morning, I was doing some odd chore, and Millie came walking through holding my cell phone just talking away. I said, "who are you talking to?", she said, "mammy". Sure enough she was, Mammy had called and Millie had answered it. Mammy said she answered it with a very clear, "hello". Social skills are not in short supply with Millie. Her vocabulary is probably just as broad as mine, if not more so. She says things like, "that is very interesting", "I need m&ms to help build my energy", and " I think I have injured my foot". Everyday is a new adventure with this sweet little lady, I may need a helmet.