Hi Millie's Future Therapist, It's Me Mommy.

The last couple of days I have been struggling. I know that Millie is growing up and that I should be glad that she is developing so well, but the other part of me is trying to hold on to her babyhood with my fingernails. The thing that has affected me by far is surprising. Every night since she was 5 weeks old Wayne has rocked her to sleep in our room and then carried her to her crib. It has been something that he has cherished, but yesterday we were mentioning it was getting close to bedtime and Millie says to Wayne, " I not go to chair, I go sleep in my crib". I could tell it broke his heart but her respected her wishes and put her in her crib, read her a book and she fell right to sleep. It was a good transition into a new bedtime routine, but after I realized that she fell asleep without difficultly, I broke down crying. It just seemed like she didn't need us anymore, I know that is irrational, but I really felt it. I went to bed sad. I awoke at 4:30am to her crying. She was very upset and that is unusual. I waited for her to self sooth. But 30 min later she is still crying. I went to get her and after much debate she fell back to sleep around 6:30. Tonight when bedtime rolled around Wayne said do you want to go to sleep in your crib and she said no in the chair. I should have encouraged her to go back to the crib and try again but the selfish mommy in me was so excited. I wanted to step back. I wasn't ready. So I agreed with her and Wayne rocked her tonight. I know that eventually she will want to try again and I know that it will sting even worse then, but for today my baby still needed us and I am glad. One day she will read this blog to her therapist. :)
Holly