The Toothless Wonder

So Millie is teething like a mad woman tonight. We're talking drool, chewing and fever. I feel sorry for her but I am also relieved. Wayne and I were starting to get concerned. She got 6 teeth back in Oct. and Nov., but nothing since then. We are almost at 7 mths with no new ones. I was telling Wayne the other day she should be getting her 15 mth molars and she doesn't even have all her front teeth. So please pray for her and her sweet little mouth. And hey if this doesn't work out maybe they make toddler false teeth......
See You Tomorrow,
Holly

Growing

(May 2008)

(May 2009)

Everyday Millie grows in another way. Everyday she wakes up taller and stronger, everyday she wakes up wiser and with more to say, everyday she understands more than the day before. I am so blessed to watch this wonderful little person develop. I know she will be amazing, she already is.
See You Tomorrow,
Holly

Chasing the Butterfly

Today was an adventure. It was my first day at attempting to relax my control. It went well, not perfect, but well. It started with me taking Millie outside after breakfast. I put her in old clothes and shoes and followed her through the mud. I watched her, I mean really watched her. I tried to figure out what was going through that little mind. I have a feeling it was much more complex than I could ever imagine. There was one moment when she was intently piling rocks on the porch and she just stopped. She looked so bewildered. Her head began to move slowly as if trying to keep up with something, I followed her line of vision. She had spotted a butterfly. It hovered about 5 feet from her near a bush. She crept over to it and it darted, so did she. I followed them both and watched the light in her eye as she chased such a beautiful new creature. She has butterflies all over her room and clothing but this was the first time she ever noticed a real one. It lead us to the end of the drive and then into the woods, Millie stopped, turned to me, smiled a smile of pure delight and then marched back to the porch to pile rocks. She had forgotten instantly her journey, but I will forever carry it with me. My daughter taught me today the importance of chasing the butterfly. I hope she always does.
See You Tomorrow,
Holly

Control Freak

(Taken By My Wonderful Husband Wayne)
Most of you who know me know that I am a huge control freak. In every aspect of my life I need to have the complete say. And to be perfectly honest I am kind of tired of it. I can't tell you why I am this way or when it started, but I can tell you I can't remember a time when I wasn't in the lead. It has served me very well and has helped me achieve my goals and given me a nice life, but I believe it has ran it's course. I am tired of never asking for help or expecting myself to plan it or be in charge of it. Sure I still want to be good at my job, be organized with my life, but I just don't want to be in charge of every little detail. I think my attitude has been changing since the birth of Millie. I have recently been seeing these tendencies in her. Don't get me wrong, there would have been many days I would have pulled my hair out if it wasn't for her schedule, but now is the time to be a little more free. I don't mean we are going to be having ice cream for breakfast at 4 am, but maybe we will not be eating yogurt and oatmeal on alternating days at 8:30 am. (Yes I was that bad). I want her to be more flexible, so she doesn't end up nervous if she doesn't have everything in the "right" order. Tomorrow is the beginning of the new me. I am very apprehensive and also very excited. I am sure no one will know what to do with me and I am sure everyone at work will ask me if I am feeling ok, but I am ready. Now let's just see how it goes.......
See Ya Tomorrow (or maybe not),
Holly

A Nice Day

Today was just a nice day. It was missing one big part, my husband, but inspite of that it was still a nice day. It started out well because Millie woke up at 8 on the nose in a very good mood, quite the opposite of yesterday. We went to church and had lunch at Cracker Barrell with my parents and my Papaw Carl. After lunch my parents took Millie to Toys R Us and I got to walk around Target by myself. I enjoyed that more than I probably should have. Sometimes it is just nice to look around at items without worrying if Millie is throwing stuff out of or into the cart. I did miss her though. She kind of grows on you. We all met back up and went to visit some family friends. Then Millie and I came home. She was in a very loving mood. That is sometimes not convient but these days I make time for it. She seems to be on the move so much it is wonderful when she just wants to be held. She watched a whole episode of Dora in my lab with her arms around me. That is the joy of being a mother. When her little arms are around my neck, I realize how much she is worth everything and so much more.
See You Tomorrow,
Holly

Our New Yard

Kindermusik Party

Tonight was Millie's end of the year Kindermusik Party. She was so excited. It was adorable to watch her try and sing and kiss her teacher. She is such a special kid. It was also very nice that Wayne was able to be with us, everything is better when he is there.
On a sad note we have decided that Mil has some yucky seasonal allergies, just like Daddy. We are starting some claritin in the morning. Please pray that it works.
Too tired to write anymore.
See Ya Tomorrow,
Holly

Urtle

While walking to the mailbox with Millie a few days ago the funniest thing happened. She was keeping a good pace with me on the driveway so I let her hand go so she could pick up rocks. I was not paying a lot of attention when she said, "Momma Yook". I looked down at her tiny hand and at first glance thought she was holding a small odd rock. On closer inspection I realized that she was holding a tiny snapping turtle. I took the turtle from her, took her into the house and washed her hands, twice (hey I am a nurse I worry) and put the turtle in a tupperware bowl ( I sanitized later don't worry). We examined the turtle and watched him walk and eat ( he was suprisingly active). Millie watched him in amazment off and on for hours. Later in the day she looked at me and in her sweet voice asked, "Baby?" I said yes he was a baby she then asked "Momma?". It broke my heart because she was asking me where was the baby's momma. Ok so I know how the whole turtle thing goes, I know he doesn't need a momma but to Millie all babys need a Momma. I said the Momma was outside and when Daddy got home we would take him to her. As soon as Wayne got in we walked the Urtle, as Millie calls it, to the creek at the end of the driveway. She waved bye to him and still asks when we are going to get the mail "Urtle?" and I always tell her he is with his Momma. See Ya Tomorrow, Holly

Where The Wild Things Are

Sorry I haven't written in a couple of days. I usually blog at night while Wayne is rocking Millie to sleep, but the past few nights have been hard on her and she needed Mommy. Please keep her in your prayers.
So we finally made the big zoo trip on Sunday. It was a blast. Millie is so loved, both sets of wonderful grandparents and her Uncle Josh and Aunt Maggie came (It was Maggie's B-day). She was excited, I don't know if she really was excited about the zoo or the fact that all the people who she loves were gathered in one place. The day was lovely, a nice 65-68 and sunny. She loved looking at all the animals, but she loved more running crazy and kissing all our legs ( a sweet thing she does if she loves you). I had a great time watching everyone watch her, in fact later as I was reviewing the pictures I laughed because all of the shots show Millie and everyone staring at her. She is one loved kid. A big thanks to our family for making it so special. You all rock!
See Ya Tomorrow,
Holly

The Sweetest Daddy

Tonight after Millie's bath the monitor was on and I could hear Wayne in her room. He was brushing her hair, and she was crying. I was stopped dead in my tracks when I heard him say, "Baby don't cry, I have to brush your hair so you will look pretty for the angels who watch you sleep". I think that maybe one of the sweetest things I have ever heard Wayne say and he didn't even know I was listening.
See Ya Tomorrow,
Holly

Workin For the Weekend!

I can't wait for the weekend! We have a very busy one planned. Saturday we have a bunch of randomness to do, clean up the house, fill in the hole in the driveway the rain created and try to cut down the jungle growing in our yard. Sunday is the really exciting day, we are headed to the zoo. I can't wait to see Millie's face when she sees all the animals.
I had a good day at work today. I always enjoy seeing my work friends. It is a couple of days where I remember that I am an adult and that there is more out there than Dora. Ironically we play cartoons in the lobby all day, so I still hear all the familiar theme music. The difference is now I know all the words...... Oh well!
Millie was happy to see me when I got home, and Wayne had dinner made. It is very nice to come home to that. My Wayne ROCKS!
See Ya Tomorrow,
Holly

Feeling Lazy

Tonight I feel a little under the weather still so I choose to be lazy, and will just post a couple of pics.
See You Tomorrow,
Holly

I Really Like Her!

So today I was thinking, always dangerous I know, but I was. I really like my kid. Yes I know most people assume that is implied but it really isn't. I mean I knew I loved her, and I knew she was amazing, but today I learned to appreciate her sense of humor. She is really a blast. She laughs at herself, and is not too sensitive. She finds the beauty in all things. She loves to hug and kiss all objects, she just cares. I believe she is going to be an awesome adult. Really people, you may want to get her autograph now because she is going to rock the world, and I get to be her mom.
See You Tomorrow,
Holly

Mother's Day 2009

I had a lovely day. It was made very special by my wonderful husband and daughter. Millie, with Wayne's help created me a beautiful piece of artwork, and gave me two beautiful cards. To me anything Millie makes is amazing, but these paintings, finger paintings, really are very pretty. Wayne helped her to use her little fingers to create hearts, crosses and a sunset. I will display them proudly forever, she will come to be embarassed by them, but that is part of the fun.

We then went to church, with my parents, Wayne's parents and my Papaw. It was a nice service and Millie had a good time in Sunday School.

We went to Red Lobster afterwards. I love that place. My father-in-law discovered his love for their cheddar biscuits.

I am still feeling a little under the weather, but how can I feel too bad when I am sooooo blessed.

Happy Mother's Day!

See Ya Tomorrow,

Holly

Tomorrow is Mother's Day!

(Last Mother's Day, Millie was 9wks)

So earlier this week if you had asked me if I was excited about Mother's Day my response would have been, "Yeah I will be with Millie, but Wayne has to work". I was sad about that fact, but I was trying not to be a baby. But tonight my response is " I am very excited, Wayne switched a day with someone so he be home with me on Mother's Day". I believe that is the best gift he could have given me. It always feels like things aren't complete if he is not there. He makes me happy. Now tomorrow I will be at church with my mom and dad, Wayne's mom and dad, my Wayne and my sweet precious baby girl. Life is GOOD!

See Ya Tomorrow,

Holly

Not Feeling So Hot

So I think that sweet little blonde baby has gotten me sick! I am feeling crummy this evening. I am looking forward to a hot bath and a good nights rest. Wayne has to work this weekend so I think Millie and I are laying low. We may visit some family and we will attend Mother's Day church service on Sunday. I kind of look forward to having no plans tomorrow. It seems like we are always running. Next Saturday is the big zoo trip with the fam. I am trying to introduce Millie to zoo animals with her books and on TV. So far she likes the elephants and the monkeys. I can't wait to see her little face. When she looks up at the gorillas it will be priceless.......

See Ya Tomorrow,
Holly

:)

Millie is feeling better!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!

I am tired, sorry no long winded speech tonight.

See Ya Tomorrow,

Holly

PS Chopped off all my hair!

On The Mend

Today was a much better day for Miss Millie. She still woke up early (6:30) and was running a fever (102) but she slept fairly soundly until then. She did wake up hoarse which sounds sooooo pitiful. She played alot more today and was able to get in two naps. I am so glad we saw so much improvement. It eases my guilt about leaving her tomorrow for work.

On another note Wayne went to his pulmonologist today and they report that his sleeping has improved more than 90%. I could have told them that. He is feeling alot better and his energy level is up. I hope he continues to improve. I twisted his arm and made him go see the new Wolverine movie, he said it was pretty good. I am glad he got out, he rarely does.

When he got home I went to the funeral home with my mom and dad. A schoolmate passed away this week and mom is very close to her sister. It was so sad to see her mom and dad. She was only a year older than me. It is not natural for parents to bury their children. I hope you all pray for the Lindsey family.

Goodnight and wish Miss Millie luck tonight. I hope she sleeps peacefully.

See Ya Tomorrow,

Holly

Torn

Ok so today kind of sucked. It all started last night, Millie had been acting fussy most of the day, but honestly I chalked it up to needing a nap and one too many rainy days. Then around 7:30 I am holding her and I realize she is burning up. I take her temp and it is 103. Now mind you I am a pediatric nurse so I don't panic, but I don't care who you are, if your kid is sick you feel helpless. She was pretty pathetic and when Wayne got home and we put her to bed her temp, even after motrin, was still high. She awoke at 1 am burning up and miserable. Well dummy me volunteered to work my day off several weeks ago, so I was expected at work this am. This is where my delima occurs. It is a feeling all working mothers can understand. You are a responsible adult, who needs money and wants your coworkers to be able to count on you, but then there is this little person, who looks like you and is your heart. She looks at you with those big blue eyes and says "Mooommmyyy" and your heart breaks. I couldn't do it, I couldn't leave her. I feel horrible guilt over leaving my coworkers, but I honestly don't think I could have lived with myself if I had left Millie. It is a problem no mother should be faced with, but one they are all faced with. It is this day, less than a week from mother's day, when I realize that this is the toughest job I will ever have. And it is today that I realized that Millie is my number one priority, I always felt that way, but today I made the choice and I chose her. I still feel guilt, but deep down, I am very proud of my decision. I would also like to thank my coworkers, fellow mothers, for allowing me to leave with only hugs and nice words. I know they were probably murmuring, but none of them were anything but nice. And just an update on Millie, she is sleeping now. Her temp before bed was a respectable 100.7 and Dr. Fraser said while she had blisters on her throat, it was not strep and she should feel better in a few days. The main thing I take from today is I am grateful to have a supportive boss, (Dr Fraser even called to check on her this afternoon) , supportive coworkers, (they called to make sure they didn't hurt my feelings), a supportive husband (who said do whatever you need to do, stay home if you want to or go to work and I will stay with Millie, which is what I needed to hear), but mainly I am grateful to one certain mom, (you know who you are) who said to me " go home, she is your kid, she needs you" because that is what I needed to hear. I am truly blessed.

See Ya Tomorrow,

Holly

Laughter is the Sweetest Music

My husband came in tonight around 8. He was tired and hungry and probably wanted to sit and relax, but instead he chased our little girl around, jumping and growling. She laughed so hard she couldn't breath. She stayed up an extra half an hour, all the while he chased and she laughed. That is why I married that man.

See You Tomorrow,

Holly

Small Blessings

Today was the kind of day I used to dream of. Most of you who know me know that Wayne and I struggled with infertility for many years, you also know we suffered a great many bumps along the way. But today was the kind of day that made the scars heal alittle. To the outside world it was probably a boring day. When I woke up this morning we were all under one roof. No one had to go to work or run any errands. We didn't have a destination to be at a certain time. We just had each other. I made biscuits and gravy while Millie and Wayne watched cartoons, then we got dressed and made our way to Woodburn for the strawberry festival. There was one booth with strawberries and those were flown in from California! The prices on the yard sale items were way too high. But I really only felt one way..... full. I was pushing my baby around in her stroller, while my husband looked through old books, and I was extremely happy. We went to Logan's for lunch, we spent way too much money and Millie got greasy corndog on her shirt (through the bib), and I was so happy. We went to the mall to buy grippy socks, and Millie wanted a balloon. I loved buying it for her and watching her walk hand in hand with her Daddy. She smiled at that overpriced balloon and I thought how that little smile was priceless. We went to Dairy Queen for ice cream and Millie wore more than she ate, but I loved every sloppy minute of it. Today was a day of my dreams, today was a day with my daughter, my little one, my family. It may not be perfect or glamerous, but I want days like this forever.

See You Tomorrow,

Holly '

Sippy Cups and Tiolet Bowls

There are few things in life that can crack you up like your kids. The hardest part of being a parent is keeping a straight face, when they do something wrong. The other day I was fixing Millie's dinner and I asked her "Millie where is your sippy" she continued to play but looked up at me for a split second. I asked agian "Millie go get your sippy" she looked at me with her big blue eyes and grinned. So a little more forcefully I said "Amelia Faith Cardwell go get your sippy cup" , she stood up and very deliberatley walked to the bathroom, I was a little confused, but I followed behind. That is when it came into view, a little pink sippy cup bobbing up and down in the tiolet. She reached her little hand in to retrieve it and I stood there torn between laughing like crazy, throwing up, turning around and pretending I never saw it, or yelling. I chose snickering, raising my voice, closing the tiolet lid, washing her hands and sanitizing the cup twice in the dishwasher. No one tells you that one day you will be forced to explain to your child that when her sippy is empty she should bring it to Mommy and not try to fill it herself in the tiolet. Life Lessons!

See Ya Tomorrow,

Holly

Listening To The Rain

I can't sleep.... I am listening to the rain beat down on our metal roof. Millie is asleep in her crib, and I can hear her sweet breathing on the monitor. Her quiet snores are like music, a sound I have waited my whole life to enjoy. She sleeps so peacefully and nothing else could give me greater pleasure. I wish for her the most magical dreams, she should always be the princess or the hero. I wish for her the knowledge of how much she is loved. I pray she realizes how deeply she has already changed the world for the better. I hope she will be as happy as she has made me. I look at that little face and I see my heart. She is perfect, she is amazing, she is my sweet dream. She is Mommy's Princess.

See You Tomorrow (Or Later Day),

Holly